Here at Hospital Vozandes-Quito we often deal with life-and-death situations such as the one I am going to relate. The hospital’s bio-ethics committee often needs to intervene in these situations. The following story comes from our chaplain who also sits on the committee.

Joel, 3, had an inoperable brain tumor on the stem of the brain. He was slowly losing functions. He was conscious and able to communicate, but was on a ventilator so he couldn’t talk. The prognosis was that he would rapidly continue to lose functions—including the ability to breathe on his own—in the following days. Death was imminent.

The question is, "How could we manage the case to minimize suffering?" How should we respond to members of the extended family (in Latin America they can exert a lot of pressure on the immediate family) who wanted to take him to a government hospital to ask a surgeon to try and remove the tumor? Neurologists said such a procedure would be futile, probably resulting in death or taking away whatever small capacity Joel had to communicate with his parents in his last few days of life.

After discussing all the medical perspectives, we decided that the ethical course of action was to give Joel as much opportunity as possible to remain communicative with his parents and keep him as free from suffering as possible. Since death was imminent, this would allow the boy and his family to have a dignified last few days together.

After the meeting, I went down to the intensive care unit (ICU) to meet the family and Joel’s parents. Standing by his bed were his mom and dad—about 22 years old. We chatted briefly, and they told me, "We realize we are going to lose Joel. We just want as much time with him as possible without Joel suffering." After about half an hour, I prayed with them and left instructions with the nurse to call me at home if anything transpired during the night.

First thing the next morning I returned to the ICU. Joel’s dad was at work, but his mom was beside him. This time he was awake and looked at me questioningly, probably wondering who this new gringo stranger was. The young boy had seen a lot of gringos in our hospital!

Joel’s mom and I talked, and then I just stood with her and watched her love her son. With eyes full of tears she offered to sing, read, tell stories. All he wanted was for her to rub his head with her hand. In a very simple act of gentleness, she communicated all her love to her son. I prayed with them again and left before I started to cry.

Except for an act of God, Joel would die shortly. The doctors estimated that it could be days—maybe weeks. But it was inevitable.

What struck me most was how Joel’s mom communicated her love. A simple touch—that’s all Joel wanted. It reminded me of God’s love for us. He too experienced the death of a Son—but not helplessly as Joel’s family. He experienced it willingly so we could know His love for us.

Despite the recommendations of the bio-ethics committee, Joel’s parents transferred their son to a government hospital for the surgery. Sadly, Joel developed a postoperative infection. Then he was transferred to another private hospital, and in mid-June he died.

We would love to have a different ending to this story, but we know that God does all things well. Pray for Joel’s family as they wrestle with losing their only son. Pray that they would remember the godly care that they saw demonstrated in the staff at Hospital Vozandes-Quito. And pray that Joel’s friends and family would come to a personal encounter with the Lord Jesus.